Any tips on how to help
discipline by the stepparent (father in this case) go smoother or be more
accepted by the children? (9 year old son and 8 year old daughter.)
It may never be accepted by the children. Remember,
the step-relationship is a “baby” relationship (brand new). So the emotional connections
are just beginning to build. I do not know how long you have been married and
what your expectations were re: discipline. In addition, the stepparent has no
biological or legal connections to the stepchildren.
First, the step-relationships need time to build –
just like a friendship. Many bio-parents are looking for someone to help with
the discipline and structure. And…many stepparents think they are coming in
with parenting rights. However, this doesn’t work. The older the children the
less this will work. Younger children bond easier. Older children have had a
history with their original family and that’s now broken. There can be
resentment toward the stepparent as an interloper and also for taking love and
time away from them that they believe they received before there was a
stepparent.
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