What are some advice/tips to softening the impact of a legal situation between biological parents in the kids’ environment? (High conflict between exes for example.)
First of all, keep the kids out of the middle. They should not be used as messengers. To do that you must be willing to meet face to face with a coach or communication skills instructor to enhance your ability to communicate and resolve conflict. Another approach would be to meet with a mediator, pastor, or neutral party you both choose who could facilitate the conversation and move it toward resolution.
Lawyers don’t do this because they are adversarial by definition. Their job is to represent their client and get the best deal for them. What’s the reason resolution is important? For the children! Conflict between parents continues the chaos in their lives.