If the biological parent and the step parent have different parenting techniques how do you discipline the kids differently and still be fair especially when there is a shared kid (“ours”) between the two. How do you combine the styles or parent differently?
This is one of the biggest issues stepcouples face. Too often they are critical of one another, even in front of the kids. One is too strict; the other too lenient. Remember, both parents have been parenting already. They have a style and the kids know their style. There may also be guilt over the divorce and because of custody arrangements, they may have minimal time with their kids and subsequently be more lenient than they normally would.
Because of the style differences – forget fair… for a while. Make sure the consequences fit the “crime.”Be consistent, follow through without threatening and remember you are the “adult.” In the meantime, educate yourself on good parenting skills and work on a common parenting style that can be implemented over time.